


Give Him a Rope and He'll Hang Himself

by Hatless_Hatter



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Although to be perfectly clear, F/M, I changed the name of the main character because the femme name was giving me dysphoria, I live for stupid shit like this, Multi, Named Apprentice (The Arcana), Pining, Self-Worth Issues, Trust Issues, absolutely - Freeform, could I possibly be any more needlessly complicated?, this is a semi original character, this is not the apprentice, you should see some of my star wars fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26476333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatless_Hatter/pseuds/Hatless_Hatter
Summary: He has killed a helpless man before. This is something he cannot reconcile as Levi's head and hands press and curl into his chest, seeking warmth and comfort. He has killed before, and yet they remain.Julian wonders at the magician he saved staying at his side.A semi alternative version of Laying Low, featuring a great deal of Julian's inner fears.
Relationships: Julian Devorak/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	Give Him a Rope and He'll Hang Himself

He has killed a helpless man before. This is something he cannot reconcile as Levi's head and hands press and curl into his chest, seeking warmth and comfort. He has killed before, and yet Levi remains. 

Julian can't help but stare. Their shoulders hunched, their head bowed, knees bent towards their chest as they drifted off. They don't look entirely comfortable, but they curl into him and their tension relents just a little more. 

Mindlessly, he sets his hand on their shoulder, his hand so much larger in scale to them that his fingers brush their shoulder blade. They sigh as he touches them and shift ever so slightly off the shoulder pressed into the bed they shared. They leave themselves open to his touch and relax when he does. 

Levi's hands curl into his shirt as their eyes open just a fraction, a flash of emerald green as they inhale deeply and resituate themself against him. Their cool, small fingers brush over his chest and their voice murmurs something that sounds like an apology. 

He shushes them quietly, telling them he doesn't mind and they should get some sleep. It's only been about an hour since they had climbed into his bed and he'd made a joke about being a gentleman. He gazes at their sleeping form again and wonders. 

Levi did not trust people. They had told him the stories behind a few of their many scars and Julian had wondered just why they had trusted him to touch them when they were injured. Why someone so used to being lied to and taken advantage of had allowed a complete stranger and wanted murderer to lay his hands on them and save their life. They had had no guarantee of his honesty. He could have very easily strangled them or let them bleed out to avoid having someone run to the guards. 

He could very easily do so now. 

He shivered, a wave of cold revulsion crashing through him as he imagined his hands wrapped around Levi's neck. His eye staring into theirs as he wrung the life out of them, watching the intelligent, playful light in their eyes fade as he ensured his own freedom. 

His hand shook as he brushed a lock of hair from their face, peaceful and slightly smiling as they felt his caress. One of their hands reached out and found his other hand, entwining their fingers with his and pressing his hand to their chest. He could feel their heartbeat, strong, healthy, and unafraid. 

What good thing had he done in his life to have this moment? This pure moment of their trust and peace in his arms. What on earth could he have possibly done to deserve these few hours of quiet, understated joy? 

_Nothing_.

His mind told him, desperately sad. 

_You have done nothing to deserve this_. 

Levi curled into him again, shivering slightly as a breeze blew in through the cracked window. He pulled them closer to his chest and wrapped a blanket around them both, watching as Levi hummed in their sleep and pressed their face into his chest again, his hand still pressed to their heart. 

He wonders if they'll wake up and jerk from him in fear. If they'll push him away when they remember what he's done. If those clever, piercing eyes would cloud with terror and distrust. It would be the best for them, but his heart aches at the thought of it. What would he do when he saw them look at him the way he looks at himself in the mirror? 

Probably run right to the guards. Put himself and everyone else he's ruined out of their misery. Never again make Levi fear for their life at his hands. 

Their legs uncurl from where they had been pressed against their belly, finally warm enough to stretch out. Their joints click and pop and they sigh in delight as their body relaxes, their ice cold toes brushing against his shins and ankles, making him draw in a sharp breath and exhale a quiet laugh. They murmured a quiet, tired apology that he dismissed with a foolish, chaste kiss to their temple that made his heart ache in a distressingly familiar way. 

Their arms curled around the one closest to them, unlinking their hands and pulling him closer. His other hand still on their shoulder, now idly tracing lines on their skin. 

Gods he wanted this to last forever. To have Levi in his arms, peaceful and wanting him. Unafraid of his past and the pain he would bring them. 

They shivered, goosebumps rising on their skin and Julian pulled them closer, his arm now holding their chest to his. His arm was so long compared to their body his hand splayed over their ribs and his fingertips brushed the side of their soft belly. 

They were so vulnerable with him. Completely unprotected and defenseless. Willingly. 

He worries what Levi will do when he hurts them. Would they forgive him too easily and try to stay? Would they even get the chance to make that choice? 

Levi's body trembles as they fight off the chill of the night, and Julian pulls the blanket tighter around them. They press their face into his collarbone and sigh deeply, a small smile on their face. 

Something about this moment feels familiar to him, and he can't quite put his finger on it. It's the same feeling of familiarity that had struck him when they'd dragged him to the hidden garden to protect him. A nagging feeling that made his head pound the same way it did every time he tried to remember killing Lucio. 

Levi's voice murmurs to him as they drift off to sleep, telling him to stop thinking and relax. His chest tightens as they voice their concern for him. They shouldn't worry. He'd be fine. He almost says as much before he notices their slow, deep breaths. 

They fell asleep in his arms. The arms of a murderer and fugitive and they fell asleep. Their face was pressed against his clavicle, their calm breathing ruffling his chest hair as they rested. He could feel their steady heartbeat through their back as he held them close, keeping the heat trapped between them. 

They were absolutely stunning. They felt right in his arms. Like they had been destined to hold him close and curl into his skin. He never wanted to let them go. 

Julian had never been more terrified in his life. He could ruin everything without even trying. He could wake them at any moment. He could have a nightmare, thrash and flail and hurt them. He could- 

Levi's body tensed, their fingers digging into the skin of his upper arm. Their face pressed into his collarbone in a more urgent manner than before. A muffled cry of panic ripping out of their throat. 

Without thinking, he pulls them close, his hand moving from their side to the back of their head, entwining into their hair. His lips press to their forehead, and he murmurs into their skin that they are safe, they will not be harmed. His fingers trace over their skin with reverence and care.

Slowly, as he murmurs to them and grounds them with his touch, Levi relaxes. Their hands, previously dug into his arm so tightly as to make his mark flare, relent. Their breathing, once shuddering and scared, eased back to a deep, slow, restful rate. 

Julian wonders again how he could have earned these moments. What cosmic entity felt he deserved a moment of peace with someone who seemed to care for him. Someone who knew what he had done and yet did not run away or to the guards. 

_Give you something to miss_. 

His mind whispered, making Julian shudder with poorly suppressed sorrow. 

_Give you happiness now only to take it from you tomorrow._

Levi was with him now. He could be happy at this moment. He wanted to be. Tomorrow, when he would have to tell them why he had to leave them, he would break his own heart to save them. 

But he would have this moment. He would have this moment to cherish as he sought the truth of what happened three years ago. He could hold the memory of Levi, calm and clinging to him for comfort. Even when he swung on the noose for his crimes, he would have this memory of peace. 

Julian sighed, closing his eyes and allowing his body to relax. His arm was still around Levi's back, his fingers over their ribs where they had been stabbed a scant few hours ago. 

He smiled as he felt sleep pull his mind from his control. He would take this moment. He would cherish Levi's trust. 

He rested his head on Levi's, eyes closed as he gave up trying to rationalize Levi's presence. His heart felt light for the first time in years. 

He would take this. 

He wouldn't dare ask for more. 


End file.
